elle is for lauren

Many rage about my generation for constantly having cell phones and ipods attached to our ears and never having peaceful moments of quiet reflection and mediation. I cannot, nor will not, deny that I am a part of this always plugged in generation. However, I do have time for reflection as I shower, as well as in those quiet moments while I lay in bed unsuccessfully trying to fall asleep as my thoughts bounce all around my head. Two days ago while taking a shower I pondered this very topic, which was thought of because of the following.



While showering after a long day of work I was thinking about many different topics, and they all started to combine in thoughts. I thought about how badly I wanted to update my blog, but didn't have time because if I were to be on the computer, I needed to be searching for a job. I was thinking of my unsuccessful search for a job. I considered change and how much I sometimes like change. It was then that I considered changing my name to Elle (not legally of course, but to be used with every new acquaintance). I then thought of how I wouldn't want to do that, because when I have a baby girl I would like to name her Elle. This is a big deal, I tend to not think much of the future, I have no idea how many kids I want or what I want there names to be. I have no idea of where I'll want to live, then or now, I have no idea where I want to get married or even what I'll want my colors to be. I have no idea of any details at all. All of it just gives me a big headache and unnecessary stress. It makes me wonder, was I ever a little girl? Did I ever dream? I guess it just proves that despite my addiction to shopping, I am just not a girly girl.

By reading the previous paragraph and contemplation on other thoughts, I can now realize why I choose to stay plugged in. By being plugged in: I stay focused; I avoid mindless thoughts; I avoid stress; and I avoid daydreaming which results in a waste of time for me.